Dating Services: For it or Against It?

I am against them. I don’t agree with the concept of dating services or dating through personals. Why? How can a relationship work if you CHOSE everything you wanted?

You chose someone because of his or her looks.
You choose someone because of his or her salary.
You chose someone because they have everything in common with you.
You chose someone because they are religious or not.
You chose someone because they do or do not smoke, do or do not drink, etc.
You chose someone who loves the same exact foods you like.

Get the picture? If we choose someone based on what we want is that healthy? We all have types of people we like but that is different from constructing a person from head to toe. When you rely on dating services you are picking everything that you want. How can this be a healthy or long lasting relationship? Is everyone supposed to have something in common with you? Do I want a man who likes everything I like? No. That’s boring isn’t it? I’d rather have a man who is not a replica of me. I could date myself if that’s the case. I don’t smoke. Does that mean that I will not date a man that does? I don’t agree with second hand smoke but couldn’t we work something out if we care for one another? He could find places to smoke. I could find places to let him be himself. Should we pick someone based on how we want them to look? Do I really want a man who fits every physical characteristic I like? Yeah it sounds good doesn’t it? But is that realistic? Can we possibly have a romance? I’m not very religious. Does that mean I don’t want a man that is? Do I want someone who changes his beliefs for me? Do I want to change my beliefs for him? Get the point?

We can’t just pick soul mates. We can’t pick someone because they fit what we want and think that’s the key to true love. Being in love means you take someone for themselves. You may like blue. He may like green. You may love comedies. He may like horrors. He may go to church on Sundays. You may never have or don’t plan to. He may smoke and drink. You may hate the idea of that. But still, it’s reality. This is a real relationship. You fall in love with the person for who they are am I right? So when you resort to dating services, who are you “ in love “ with? The person or the idea of them?

And who is to say that just because “professionals” hooked you up the relationship will last? You could have Mr. and Mrs. Right easily. But does that mean they are the right ones for you?

I don’t see how a dating service can bring forth a realistic relationship. You should meet folks naturally and fall in love the way nature intended. Romance shouldn’t be constructed like chapters of a book.

Photos are from the 1996 Romeo + Juliet film. The story may not have been real but at least the love was true.

Bootsy

My Most Overrated Films Part 2

1. 
   Forrest Gump
   
   Wow and we talk about Titanic. At least I could stay awake for most of that movie. Forrest Gump is so overrated it deserves the Overrated Award! I will never forget this movie because back in 1994, before summer vacation every teacher at my school showed this to us. Remember how teachers used to show movies during the last week of school? Well lucky me that two of my teachers picked this sappy, boring and lifeless self-portrait of a slow man that goes nowhere.
   
   “ Life’s just a box of chocolates. “
   
   “ Run Forest! Run! “
   
   How this got to be an Oscar film I’ll never know. But since when does Oscar movies tend to be decent ones? And Tom Hanks is pretty overrated himself. I enjoyed him mostly in the eighties when he did comedies. I still don’t understand something about Forrest. Was he supposed to actually be retarded or just a little slow? I’m not sure.
   
   
   Speed
   
   Okay Speed is a fun film. It’s entertaining. You watch Keanu Reeves (who can’t act worth a lick but tries hard enough) scream to the top of his lungs for two hours. We got Sandra Bullock in her breakout role. That’s cool. Then we got veteran Dennis Hopper who’s the crazy bomber behind the scenes. Did I think Speed was good? YES! It’s one of the most exciting films ever. We watched this in school too by the way. But it is also overrated. It’s a blockbuster, true but some folks tend to think this was Reeves’ best film. He hasn’t made many great films but I think he’s done better than Speed through the years. And what about that horrific sequel, “ Speed 2: Cruise Control “. Yikes! I can see why Keanu said no to that one!
   
   Basic Instinct
   
   Sharon Stone’s breakout picture. Of course it would have been my breakout film too if I had been buck naked in every scene. Basically you have this: Sharon jumps on Michael Douglas and rides for about two hours with an ice pick. Sexy? No. Sleazy? Yeah kind of. The film was boring. I’ve seen it probably twice and nothing keeps you watching except the nude scenes. I suppose that’s why there was so many in there. Michael Douglas has a scene where he walks naked down the hall. He claimed it was really him but people had their doubts. Do I really care? Sorry no. This is a very overrated film that relied on cheap, trashy gimmicks to get attention. Note to the director: “ You can have the cast take their clothes off but if the plot sucks it’s going to come back to haunt you. “ If you haven’t seen this old dud after all these years don’t bother. Compared to the stuff out today it’s no longer as “ shocking “ as folks believed.
   
   I like Sharon Stone but her entire career relied on her taking her clothes off. What is so sad is that she’s doing it again for a sequel that no one seems to care about. People say: “ Why make BI 2 now that Sharon is old and crusty? “ We all know older women are sexy even if Hollywood doesn’t think so but this BI 2 is a lame attempt for Miss Stone to get her fame back. Sharon it’s gone! It’s gone! Just move on! Put on your drawers and move on! The worst thing about BI 2 is that Michael D. is nowhere to be seen. My mother was asking me about this movie the other day. She’s never seen Basic Instinct in all these years. I was like, “ Momma, get a clue. “ I saw it when I was fourteen. LOL!
   
   That photo is the most famous scene. She opens her legs with no drawers on. Wow! I sit around without drawers all the time. No one put me in the movies!
   
   
   Do The Right Thing
   
   Why some folks think this is an urban classic I don’t know. I admire Spike but I have yet to understand any of his movies, LOL! I saw this a couple of times but there was no continuity to the scenes. The film was sillier than House Party so I was surprised it gained an Oscar nomination. It may be entertaining for some but I don’t think it’s as great as some folks say. Spike has done better than this. Can you believe Spike is still bitter because he didn’t win the award? “ Move on, Spike! You’ve done better! “
   
   
   Top Gun
   
   We all know how overrated Tom Cruise is and this seems to be his most overrated vehicle. Contrary to popular belief, this was the film that made Tom a real star. The movie is good but it’s not the greatest film in the 80’s. Come on with that. Yeah, yeah I know that the flying sequences were fabulous. It was good to remember when films didn’t rely on special effects but this is not a GREAT movie. It is entertaining and it became a blockbuster but it still has a lot of flaws. It would have been ten times better if Tom hadn’t been in the role. He and Kelly McGillis had zero chemstry. The most exciting characters were Val Kilmer and Meg Ryan but they were overshadowed by the hype of Tom Cruise. Same old story. But you’ll enjoy it. If you haven’t seen it you’re probably the first that hasn’t! This movie made the eighties, I must say. And it had that hit song too. You guys remember that? LOL!
   
   Terminator 2: (Known as T2)
   
   Yes this was a good film but still very overrated in my book. I used to enjoy Arnold’s films until he turned into Cali’s loco, butt-grabbing, insulting, homophobic governor, LOL! Hey, some folks can separate the person from their work but I cannot. Hence, the reason I no longer listen to R. Kelly, LOL! I’m getting off the subject. The film is the best there is because it introduced some prime special effects. I didn’t see the last Terminator but you definitely should have this DVD for your collection. The first one was pretty good too. This film is overrated in the fact that it relied a little too heavily on gimmicks. Like I said it’s good but to me it wasn’t the big blowout people claimed it to be. The best thing in the film was Robert Patrick who made his debut as the killer android. Apparently Arnold had been whining behind the scenes. Because he’d turned into a father since the first film he didn’t want to play the ‘ bad ‘ robot anymore. What a wimp.
   
   The Big Easy
   
   This was a good film. Funny I just saw it last month and it was made in 1986. I’d heard so much about it. Since we’ve been hearing so much about New Orleans in real life I decided to check it out. The film was made in New Orleans and Dennis Quaid did an excellent job playing the part. Can’t expect less from a Houston boy now can you? The plot is a little shaky. Quaid falls for Ellen Barkin (the big city assistant DA) who comes down to see why all of the Easy’s big drug dealers are suddenly dying. It’s a mellow plot but the good part of the film relies on the chemistry of the two stars. It’s a nice little film to watch on a Saturday night. I just expected so much more since people claimed it was one of 1986’s best.
   
   
   Stand By Me
   
   Boring vehicle about four boys: Wil Wheaten, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, River Phoenix going off to look for a body. Apparently it’s from a Stephen King short story so perhaps this is why folks thought it was so great. It’s not. Boring, boring, boring. It’s very sad to see River Phoenix in anything these days. John Cusack and Keifer Sutherland have supporting roles. You see why this film wouldn’t have worked with black folks. You’ll never see black kids going into the woods looking for a body. Shoot we see bodies all the time in our neighborhoods! We just step over them and go on. LOL! No I’m just kidding. But truthfully black folks don’t do this scary stuff. Well, unless you paid us.
   
   And last AND least…
   
   
   
   Anything starring Whoopi Goldberg EXCEPT “ The Color Purple “!

Toot Your Own Horn!

Hi All,

I recently heard of a situation where a woman was coming up in the literary industry. She’d just received a publishing contract with a major publisher. Well, she said she’d been announcing it to friends and family. She also said she announced it to coworkers. She said that though some people supported her, some felt she was being “ arrogant “ by tooting her own horn. She wondered if she should have been low key with her celebration. It was truly bothering her that people weren’t joining in on her celebrations but chose to make her feel bad by saying she shouldn’t have been so outwardly proud.

Why the hell not?

I see nothing wrong with someone tooting his or her own horn. Tooting your horn isn’t being arrogant or bragging. Tooting your horn is healthy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone being proud of what they’ve accomplished. Whenever I do something big you can damn well believe I shout it from the rooftops. A lot of people advised the lady that she had a right to be proud of herself. She’d worked hard with what she’d accomplished. I always find that if someone thinks you shouldn’t celebrate your accomplishments it’s because they are jealous. Yep, we are right back to the big J again aren’t we? These folks who chose to criticize her for showing pride were completely jealous and probably just wanted her to be quiet.

Tooting your own horn every once in a while isn’t bragging. Bragging is when someone tries to diminish other people’s accomplishments with everything they do. That is a person who brags. People shouldn’t feel guilty for being proud of what they’ve done. If you’ve got a promotion scream it to the world! If you just landed a good job shout it high! If you just graduated medical school throw a damn party! If you just bought a five-story home after working hard for years sing your praises!

Don’t listen to those who piss on your proud moments. These are moments that mean a lot to you and even if folks are jealous it doesn’t make you a bad person to enjoy what you’ve done. I say go out there and toot your own horn whenever you feel the need! If you accomplished something then you damn well deserve to! Forget those who say you shouldn’t. Everyone who’s worked hard at something has a right to his or her moment to shine.

Have a good weekend!

The photo is Lil’…oh excuse me…it’s just ‘ Bow Wow ‘ now, LOL! Isn’t he cute?

Bootsy

Debut Interview Posted on ITL!

Hi All,

Please take the time to check out In The Light's debut interview with soul singer Coco Jones. Also, leave a comment on the blog after the interview if you wish.

http://inthelightblogazine.blogspot.com

Bootsy

A New Kind of Jealousy

Hi All,

I made some time to post. I hope everyone is doing well. I have to get something off my chest. Before I do this, don’t think I am upset or giving it a second thought. I just wanted to share this and get your opinions.

I notice a new kind of jealousy and hate brewing these days. It used to be that we only had to deal with people we didn’t know or people who didn’t like us being jealousy. That’s only the tip of the iceberg. I have noticed that the people who you felt supported you the most turn out to be the ones who can’t be proud of your success. They succumb to jealousy. I’m not speaking of specifically close friends, but of people I have rubbed elbows with. A lot of my peers in the literary world support my new venture as an interviewer. A lot have given me warm wishes and stopped by to show how proud they are. I am the same with them. You see I love to support others and I am the first to congratulate people when they do something big. But I don’t always get that in return. And I am not the only one in the world to receive this treatment.

Let me make something clear. I don’t give a damn about anyone who is petty and jealous. But I think it’s pathetic when someone can only be your friend until you do something that shows up his or her insecurities. How do we realize such treatment? Well, it’s easy. You used to be close to a person, now they don’t answer your emails. They once were all up on you now they don’t speak. You know you didn’t do anything wrong but there is a coldness there you can feel. I’m not stupid. I can tell when someone’s behavior has changed towards me. Some people are only your friends when you are at the same level as they are. But when they see you rising and doing more than them they just can’t hack it. At first it bothered me. Now I don’t care. My true friends and intelligent literary peers aren’t like this. The literary world is full of great, supportive folks. But it is also full of jealousy and you can’t see it until you are doing something remarkable. When someone is jealous of you is when you know you’re doing a damn good job.

I just can’t understand it though. Why can’t people be proud of others? It is so obvious. Until people let go of jealousy they won’t have any kind of life. People need to stop looking at others and do what they can do. I don’t care about jealous people. I know that a lot of people are jealous of me. People are jealous of anyone for different reasons. You can be an author, singer or cook. It doesn’t matter. There is always someone who is looking at you, wanting to be you and hating you at the same time. Well, people can be jealous all they want. Friends who I felt were friends can ignore me all they want. They can stick up their noses and do all the other childish things but I don’t care. See I don’t need them. They don’t stop my flow. They won’t stop my flow. You know whom I care about? I care about the people I inspire. And for everyone who is jealousy of me, I know there is at least ten others who are proud of me. I am speaking of someone in particular. Someone I thought was a friend. Someone I thought I had something in common with. Someone I thought was big enough not to ever be jealous and petty. Well, it’s their problem isn’t it? It’s one thing when the people you thought were in your corner really weren’t to begin with.

I know you guys have felt this too. I feel good because I know that I haven’t changed. I am still the sweet, loveable girl I always have been. I don’t hate on others. I don’t wish others’ failure. But I couldn’t ignore how it bothered me at first to see that some of the folks I thought would support this exciting new career ride I was taking have decided to give me the cold shoulder. Well that’s their problem and not mine. If they don’t need me then I damn sure don’t need them. Every year I learn more about being an adult. I learn more. I will keep learning. With every revelation I make about how trifling some folks can be, it opens my eyes. They can’t hurt me. But obviously I can hurt them just by being me.

Can anything be more pathetic?

Bootsy

Quick Hello

Hi All,

Things are really hectic for me since I became an interviewer. I find it hard to get to this blog to post right now. I pop in to check comments so keep them coming if you haven’t commented on my latest posts. I knew that I would get even busier but I had no idea. I have so many things to do with my new blogazine as well as networking with folks who are in the music/entertainment business. I just wanted to pop in to say hi. I wanted you all to know that I haven’t forgotten about my blog family. I also haven’t been able to drop by any blogs lately. If you saw how busy I’ve gotten you will see why. I have many sites to deal with and right now my time is limited. You won’t believe how hard it is being an interviewer. I believe the edges will smooth for me once I get used to it. It’s just different for me because I am only beginning with this.

Also go to http://inthelightblogazine.blogspot.com and sign the mailing list to get updates on people I will be interviewing in the future as well as other fun happenings. I won’t post that in public. You’ll have to join the mailing list to know the good stuff. I put all my interview announcements and coming attractions in that mailing list. So join if you want to know. This is so new and exciting. I just hope I don’t get burned out. I have an assistant now so that’s good. I haven’t really had time to rest but I plan to. So I have to use my time wisely these days. Sometimes I want to post here but I am just too tired. I also don’t know when I will be able to visit blogs again. I will try my best to though.

See you when I see you.

With love,

Bootsy

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

Everyone please visit my blogazine. I just put up an announcement for those who are interested and curious: http://inthelightblogazine.blogspot.com I appreciate all the support. Feel free to comment when you get over there.

Bootsy

My Most Overrated Films

Hi All,

Now this is gonna be FUN...

I have been disappointed a lot with the cinema in my lifetime. Since I am one sort of obsessed with films, I’d like to think my opinion about them carries some weight. So I decided to list some films I feel are the most overrated and why. Afterwards feel free to comment on my pick and add some of your own.
Titanic- The MOST overrated movie in history! I was a big Leonardo DiCaprio fan before this movie. This movie made me not like him as much, LOL! I have no idea why the media tried to make this film so great because almost everyone I know couldn’t stand it. I saw it in the theaters with my mother and that was no great pleasure. It is probably one of the silliest films ever made. Who told James Cameron he could go rewrite history by including some long, drawn out boring romance that didn’t even happen? People went to that film to see the actual tragedy not to see three hours of wasted time. And why the hell did that movie have to be so long? None of it made sense. I don’t care about any Oscar winnings because some of the worst films have won Oscars. I can’t believe Cameron blew most of Hollywood’s budget on this. Leonardo DiCaprio’s acting was fierce. He is a great actor hands down. He tends to overact sometimes but he is still talented. I still after all these years don’t know how in the hell Kate Winslet walked off with an Oscar nomination but anyway… This movie is not the perfect film some claim it is. This has got to be one of the most over overrated movies in history. And hanging off of a ship is supposed to be romantic? Since when?
Fame- Okay Fame is a cute and interesting film. It’s entertaining. But when did it get to be some culture obsession? People act like Fame created a new genre of musicals. Not exactly. Seeing children go through the School of Performing Arts was amazing yes but the film was not all that. The acting was terrible (made up of mostly first time and non-actors). The soundtrack was the only thing that made this film a hit to me. Irene Cara’s hit song pulled this movie over the top. Not to mention " I Sing the Body Electric ". Without these songs, the popularity of the character Leroy and the Oscar nomination Fame received, I don’t believe anyone would have thought about it twice. Uh, and let’s not talk about that pitiful television show. The Broadway hit is a true classic though.
Grease- Okay I am a Grease fan. I enjoyed this film and I loved Grease 2. Yeah I did so don’t make fun of me! But why has this become a classic? It has a huge following we know but the hype of Grease is what made this film popular, not the actual film. I know the soundtrack is famous but without that and the 50’s background, you just had a bunch of thirty year-olds playing teenagers. The dialogue was pathetic. The story nonexistent. Even with a musical you should have decent writing and good direction. Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta rocked but most of the film was boring. It lost its appeal twenty years ago. This is another film that is merely entertaining but has been labeled a classic of our time. I’m rolling my eyes by the way. Grease is a good film, Broadway hit and a cultural film landmark (I get that) but it still makes my overrated list. People may make fun of Grease 2 but it was far more entertaining. Michelle Pfeiffer and Adrian Zmed rocked. At least the sequel brought more than just a cheesy plot engulfed in a hot soundtrack.
Singe White Female- Oh back in 1992 there were two films you couldn’t get away from. Single White Female and its boring cousin, " The Hand That Rocks The
Cradle ". I will get to that one in a second. After hearing how " scary " this film was I had to see it years ago. Everyone and their mother saw this movie. I was greatly disappointed. Why was this seen as a great thriller? The first two hours of the movie was filler. Bridget Fonda was probably the dumbest character known to man. Jennifer Jason Leigh (who I’ve enjoyed in other roles) was the most boring, wannabe psycho in film history. What made this film so great? It wasn’t frightening but stupid. The film would have been over in ten minutes if Fonda’s character had been written with a brain. I guess that is why they didn’t write her with one. THIS is a great thriller? Please! The title was intriguing but the film sucked. Same thing, unstable unattractive roommate fixates on her more popular roommate with the cute boyfriend. Another movie the media blew out of proportion. I can’t remember how this did in the theaters back then but it is highly overrated. If it hadn’t been for the unique title I don’t think anyone would have paid as much attention.
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle- Oh please. I am a big Rebecca DeMornay fan. She’s a great actress but who the hell would really be scared of her? If they wanted people to take this seriously they shouldn’t have gotten an actress who looked like she came from the pages of Playboy. Now, get some homely type like Glenn Close (and I will get to her in a second) and we’ll talk. The plot was decent but the direction screwed that up. Annabelle Sciorra played the same old lame, dumb-woman role. We have the nanny (DeMornay) doing all this stuff then of course the lady of the house (Sciorra) doesn’t know it until it’s too late. Julianne Moore, one of my favorite actresses was completely wasted. Then again she wasn’t that known then so I suppose the check she got helped somewhat. This movie had me yawning at the beginning and shaking my head at the end. It was the same old lame stuff continuously. Killer nanny goes crazy at the end and thinks the kids are hers. Oh how original. The husband and wife ignore all signs that the woman is crazy until she comes back with an axe or knife to kill them. Ernie Hudson played retarded. Why he had to be retarded don’t ask me. If you haven’t seen this after all these years then you are smarter than I am. I wish I hadn’t EVER seen it. I am a DeMornay fan so I guess that makes this a guilty pleasure. The acting was all right but the film was pitiful. And how many films will be made where the husband is supposed to save the wife only to get conked on the head? And making Sciorra’s character have asthma was just some lame way of hindering her so she couldn’t fight back. Boy I’m still yawing. This was another " big " film in 1992. It didn’t deserve half the attention it got. Just another example of a film with a good title with nothing to show for it.

Fatal Attraction- Uh can anyone say, " Play Misty for Me? " How come in 1987, the world acted like this was the first stalker film ever made? I can name others before this that were much better. Now, don’t get me wrong. Fatal Attraction was decent. I mean Glenn Close was a good psycho but don’t make this out to be the first of its kind when it wasn’t half as good as " Play Misty for Me ". If you thought Close was frightening you should have seen Jessica Walter. She would kick Glenn Close’s butt! I also believe that the porno-like sex was thrown in when the director felt you’d doze off. It wasn’t needed. I didn’t want to see two mid forty year-olds humping each other on the sink, elevator and anywhere else. Uh, gross. I hold this up for Women’s Lib though. Every woman I know (me included) felt Douglas’ character got what he deserved. You got a great marriage then you cheat? And you cheat with Glenn Close when you got Anne Archer? Who can believe this? And why did they keep calling Close beautiful? Uh, no! I can’t even comment on that. Close was great in this role. Douglas was wasted because he didn’t really do anything but be stupid. You could have gotten any nobody to play that role. Michael must have been desperate. I know this was a huge box office smash but it didn’t deserve to be. I guess at the time it was exciting but after nearly twenty years it’s lost its appeal to me. I never thought it was a great thriller in the first place. I mean come on? Who besides Douglas’s dumb character hadn’t realized Close was loonier than tunes five minutes after the film started. I guess the burning rabbit thing is what made this film so famous. Hmmm?
Moral of the story: DON’T CHEAT!

Out of Africa- Can you say, " Boooooorrrrriiiiiinnnnngggggg? " One of the most overrated films. And I am sick of people acting like Meryl Streep created acting. And by the way Meryl is one of the most overrated actresses I might add. She is an OKAY actor who stared in movies with big leading men that is why she is so known today. Contrary to popular belief Streep is not the best thing to walk into films and I am sick of people acting like she is. She’s okay but people kill me with this,
" She’s the best actress in the world " junk. Please, far from it. Look at most of her films. She was with men or other leading ladies that made the films good but it wasn’t necessarily Streep. Out of Africa…the sedative of all sedatives. Forget sleeping pills folks. Just pop this DVD in and you’ll be in a coma before the first thirty minutes is over. Streep has got to be one of the most boring actresses I’ve ever seen.
The Witches of Eastwick- Ah, it’s okay. I liked it but it could be better. I don’t know where all the hype came from though. Jack was a hoot wasn’t he? Way overrated though. Not so much frightening but it is funny and cute. Just a little draggy in spots. I loved that ending though! Still, very overrated but I guess good for the 80’s.



ANY film made by Tom Cruise and Eddie Murphy. Enough said.

This film post may continue in the near future. I am sure there are thousands of others I forgot to name. Feel free to share your opinions. Now Tom and Eddie fans don’t blast me, LOL! Feel free to treat this as a tag if you want. I’d find it very interesting to see some of your Most Overrated Films list.

Bootsy (Bringing you top blog entertainment always!) Love you!

My Top Ten Blogs

Hi All,

Everyone is doing some list about blogs they most enjoy. Well this is mine. I am putting together a list of blogs I think actually make a difference. These bloggers actually say something meaningful from time to time. They can be humorous but they also tackle serious topics very well. I picked these blogs because of their ability to always hold my interest. I don’t go by a person’s hits or profile views. That doesn’t mean a blog is popular. That just means a lot of folks have tuned in. But the question is how many of them came back? Anyone can have a blog full of thousands of hits but are you saying something meaningful? A truly popular blog has nothing to do with profile hits but with content. If someone is visiting your blog on a regular basis, whether it’s ten or ten thousand people then I applaud those bloggers. I also can’t stand those blogs who don’t let people have their say and disagree. NEWSFLASH: It’s a blog! People aren’t going to always agree but don’t make them feel bad if they don’t! Let them have their say as long as they show you respect. Who would want to visit a blog run by some tyrant? LOL!

The blogs I have listed aren’t filler. I am not into glitzy blogs. You know the kind where the people really don’t have anything to say but just a site made up of designs and crap like that? I find them tedious and boring because the blogger obviously had to do something extra to dress up their blog. I don’t go for those UNLESS you got something important to say. And I am not into those glamorous-wannabe blogs that do nothing but talk about some star’s hair and make-up. Please. I’d buy a magazine for that. Is that all you can bring? What’s original about that? Sure you can talk about celebs from time to time but not every day. Bring something new to the table. A blog is supposed to be the blogger’s insights not full of cheap, glossy designs and boring posts. Don’t you hate those kinds of blogs? I visit those once I am out of there. You also have to update regularly in my opinion. I know it gets hard. We can’t all post a lot of times every week but when you leave your blog vacant for months at a time how can you expect anyone to be interested in it? You might as well give it up by then.

Note: Just because I don’t name your blog here doesn’t mean you’re not one of my favorites. Everyone I’ve added to my links is someone I very much enjoy. I also enjoy blogs I haven’t linked to yet. So please don’t feel bad if I didn’t add you. These are people I have known for a while so I wanted to give a shout out. I had a lot of other favorites but they fell off when they stopped updating. You got to keep it up, people! Can’t be a top blogger if you don’t update, LOL!

Now with all of that said, here are my Top Ten blogs and why:

1. Abeni- She brings realistic issues to the table. Whenever I want to know about various news topics around the world, I visit Abeni first thing. She always educates me and keeps me in the know with current affairs. I think of her as my own blog reporter. She’s witty, insightful and I can’t help but keep coming back for more. A true blogger at her best!

2. Rose- Lessons Learned is probably one of the best blogs ever created. I say this because Rose tackles issues with such sincerity and sensitivity. She gives her opinion about things but she never judges. She’s never had a hostile environment. The blog is always so laid back and spiritual. I admire how she keeps this tone no matter what. It’s also very entertaining.

3. Shawn (The Grump)- I just like the way he thinks.

4. Kathi- With Kat it’s hard to say. Sometimes it’s like she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to post. Monday she’ll talk about fishing and the next day it will be cooking ribs, LOL. I just have to check in because I am never disappointed and often leave her site laughing. She switches the script to something serious from time to time too. I admire that. I never know what to expect when I visit and that’s what blog visitors like I believe. She keeps me guessing and that keeps me interested. Plus, she’s a good blog buddy of mine. I love visiting. She also makes you feel comfortable. And not to mention she’s crazy as hell! LOL!

5. “ N “ Search of Ecstasy- One of my new favorites. I love the way she puts up her HAM/Hot Ghetto Mess pictures! She’s down to earth, funny and she keeps it real. She stays true to herself and I like that. I also love to hear her commentate on such pitiful people. You guys need to see those HAM pictures. Man those folks are pathetic, LOL! Her blog is great for laughs.

6. Ladylee- She’s just crazy as hell. I love her blog. Now this is one blogger who never runs out of something to say LOL!

7. Dr. Deborah- I can’t say enough about this lady. I am just glad she shares her expertise with all of us. Very enlightening blog!

8. Lady in Satin- She’s calm, cool and relaxed. She is a very sweet and positive person. I love visiting her and I love when she visits me because she always has something kind to say. You can tell she really cares about others. She picks me up when I am down. Her blog is the total opposite of anything hostile. The minute you click onto it you feel like you stepped on a planet of harmony. I’m not lying! Visit her blog and see if you don’t feel like running through the grass naked, sniffing flowers. LOL! It’s so serene.

9. Ruben- Ruben is incredibly weird and I guess that is what I like about him. He’s funny as heck! He goes through the most embarrassing situations but doesn’t mind sharing them. I don’t pop into Ruben’s space a lot but when I do he makes me glad I did.

10. Shavonne- Another blogger who keeps it real! She has a lot to say about various subjects and I love the way she says it. She also keeps me guessing. I just love visiting to see what she comes up with next.

Okay, these are my top ten blogs for now. Like I said, just because I didn’t list you doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy your blog. I just wanted to give a quick shout out to these folks. Have a good weekend!

Bootsy

Revenge: Is it Worth It?

Hi All,

(Know who that is? If you don't know or don't recall you'll find out at the end of the post)

We all have someone in our lives that we’ve wished revenge on. That is just human nature. We have all dealt with people who have hurt us. In return we wished something upon them. We always said that if we could get back at them we would. I know I have. I remember instances from my past where people wronged me then I said I couldn’t wait till the day when I could get them back. I always dreamed of going to my high school reunion and bragging to the people who may have hurt me. Even before I became an author I still knew I would do something more than them because when people try to hold you down, you always turn out to be better than they are. A lot of kids are teased. A lot of kids are picked on and bullied. Almost all of those kids wish for the day when they can get revenge. But, is it truly worth it?

It’s funny how we go through life holding on to the negative things we’ve encountered. We blame others but maybe sometimes it is our fault for letting it get the best of us. I always dreamed of the day when I could get bitchy with some girl who talked behind my back or some guy who teased me. I don’t believe it’s worth it. You know why? Because those folks have already gotten what’s coming to them by the time you reconnect with them. If you ever do.

I remember the story of this actress. She’s not famous but she’s been in some movies. She did an interview before her debut movie role. She explained how badly a girl picked on her when she was in school. She said the girl treated her horribly. She talked about her looks. She said she would never be anything because she wasn’t attractive. She did some very nasty things. Well, the actress met up with that girl after the movie came out. The actress said she’d had all these things in her head that she’d been dying to say to the girl since high school. She’d practiced it over and over. She said that if she ever met her again she would let her have it. Alas she didn’t. She said it just wasn’t worth it. The girl of course acted like they’d been friends in school. She acted as though she hadn’t remembered how badly she treated the actress. Once the actress realized how limited the girl’s life was now, she just couldn’t say the things she wanted to. She said the excitement vanished. It just didn’t seem important anymore.

I agree. I’ve met up with people from middle school who didn’t treat me right back then. They come up to me like we were old friends. “ Hey, girl! Girl you look good! “ All I can think about was how this person treated me. I wonder if they even took their behavior seriously because I did. We think that revenge is being able to tell these folks off or to let them see how successful we’ve become. You know what real revenge is? It’s just letting it all slide. Believe me the person who did you wrong realizes your life is better than theirs is the moment they approached you. You can almost see the shock or envy in their eyes. That’s better than telling them off to me. They now have to simmer in their own juices. Some even look at you like they have the nerve to apologize. We all know it’s way too late.

I know we’ve all experienced people like this. They treated you wrong in the past. Now when you see them after all that time they recount history as if you were best friends. I have to laugh. Don’t let it fool you. It’s killing them believe me. People who hurt others in the past always end up with the short end of the stick. We even began to feel sorry from them. All that contempt we felt flies out the window when we see how pathetic they’ve gotten. At some point they knew their less-than-perfect lives were payback for something. They always seem to realize that once they’ve hooked up with you again. Sometimes you can’t help but pity these types of people.

You know longer crave revenge at this point right? No, seeing them struggling with their lives just takes that away. It’s funny how good people can still feel sorry for people who did us wrong. Though they never ever thought twice about the things they did to us. Ring any bells? Do you think you could act our your revenge on someone once you caught up with them again?

The photo is Meredith Brooks. “ I’m a bitch, I’m a lover…” You guys remember that song? Long live bitch rock! Look at her. Play that guitar, girl!

I remember when she opened for the Stones back in the late 90’s and the people booed her. Tsk, tsk. I don’t listen to her much now but the songs I heard were pretty good. She’s no Pat Benatar (one of my rock idols) but she’s definitely got a style all her own. You guys know how much I love electric guitars! I still plan to get mine soon.

Stacy

Thoughts, Celebrations & New Ventures

Hi All,

THOUGHTS:

I know I’ve been absent for a couple of days. I’ve been extremely busy. I am still working on my anthology. I have one more short story within it to complete then I am done. My current publisher is looking most of it over right now. It may take me a while to hear from him with all the literary events going on (he tends to go to all of them) but I am very excited and happy.

It seems that with each ounce of exposure I get, more opportunities open up for me. Also, it’s funny that you can be more popular than you know. Yesterday I popped on the Internet and my Yahoo instant messenger was on. But I didn’t know it was on. I never chat on instant messenger. I used to years ago. I don’t have the time now. I’m laughing because within seconds about ten boxes popped up. “ Hi Stacy “, “ Hey Stacy “, “ How are you doing, Stacy? “ I didn’t know any of the people but they knew me. I could tell I was popular in the literary world because every so often I get emails from people who know me that I have never heard of, LOL. Now, with the messenger craziness I know I might darn well be famous, LOL! I had to pop off though. I was kind of scared because IM boxes were popping up on top of one another. Goodness, talk about Internet paparazzi!

Have you all heard about the new computer device that allows authors to autograph their books online? My mom told me about it and I also read about it on the net. I love the idea because I am one of those authors who live outside of New York AND very shy so I hate going to all those events. You cannot believe how many literary events there are. Every time I turn around there is something different. So I like the idea of this mechanical pen thing. Also someone was telling me about cyber book tours now. Yep, book tours over the Internet. Amazing huh?

CELEBRATIONS:

I am so happy for Reese! Some of you know that I am a big Reese Witherspoon fan! I have been a fan of hers since she was a child. She’s a wonderful actress. She’s vibrant and I just love Reese to death. She’s cute as a button! She’s so sweet. I was so happy she won her Oscar. I don’t watch awards shows. Nope I hate them. I know Reese was up against talented ladies but I wanted Reese to win. It was her time to shine. I just hope Ryan can support her. I hope he doesn’t succumb to jealousy like some men do when their wives do successful things. Can’t tell you how many Hollywood couples bit the dust after the woman won an Oscar. What I like about Reese is that she continues to be the sweet down home girl most people love. Success and money hasn’t changed her. You can’t say that about most people these days. Go Reese! Love you!
For the record I was glad Heath didn’t win. I can’t stand him, sorry. LOL!

I am also happy that I received an autograph photo of Tyra Banks. I didn’t even ask for one. I emailed her to ask something about the show yet I got an autographed picture instead. It’s not that big but hey…at least it was free, LOL! No I am just kidding. It was a beautiful photo. I give big autograph photos of myself by the way. I stopped having contests so I haven’t issued any in a while. You want an autograph picture of me then let me know. Yep, authors give out autograph pictures too, LOL.

NEW VENTURES:

Okay this is the big news. Any of you noticed the addition of my new blog? Well check the profile if you haven’t. I just started my own interview blog station. “ In The Light “ is my new blogazine! I am now an entertainment interviewer. I will be interviewing different people in the entertainment field (actors, singers, authors, etc.). My blogazine is geared towards folks who may be known but not famous. Don’t you get sick of famous folks anyway? LOL! So check out http://inthelightblogazine.blogspot.com to read more about it. I will air my debut interview in a few days. I hope you all will become regular readers of “ In The Light “. You can read more about it at my site, Stacy-Deanne.net. Exciting huh? This is to perfect my interviewing skills because I plan to have my own magazine in the near future.

Ahhh (taking a breath)

It’s funny huh? I complain about being busy and tired yet I always end up adding another notch to my belt don’t I? Well I’m an overachiever and I never run from a challenge. LOL! So, that’s why I haven’t been here since the other day. I am very excited about the new things I am doing. I hope you guys support me on my new blogazine. I promise not to disappoint and bring you “ the best interviews with the best people “.

The photo is Reese. She has reason to smile doesn’t she?

Love you!

Practicing What I Preach

Hola,

The song I can’t seem to get enough of these days: Situations by Keyshia Cole.
In case you were wondering what I am listening to.

Today I suppose I received a test against my positive behavior. For a little while there I seemed to have failed the test. I succumbed to worrying today. Yep, I found myself worrying and thinking negatively. It wasn’t until my mother told me everything would be all right that I decided to let those negative vibes go. The positive journey is a rewarding one but we all fall back a time or two. I am back now. Nothing will break me. I just got a little scared about something today. Then once again my mother was there to lend a helping hand.

I am still a bit shaken but I will be okay. Like I said, nothing will break me. I will slip off the glasses of worry and slip on my shades of happiness. We all fall off sometimes. It’s just like fighting an addiction. You can kick the habit but at times you still get withdrawal pains. I’m human after all. I must remind myself and stop trying to be perfect. I will stop listening to percentages and scenarios. Just because something happened to others does not mean it will happen to us. We must let go of that negativity. It’s when we start doubting ourselves and worrying without cause that brings on a most of our problems.

Now saying that, I am free, LOL! I came face to face with a test. I may have slipped a little there with my positive thinking but its back now. I will let all the worries go. After all, I have a lot to be thankful for. I will stop listening to things that “ might “ and
“ could “ happen and focus on things that do. I will continue to practice what I preach.

I’m happy again.

Now let me get back to this Keyshia CD. I can’t get enough of her and the latest Faith Evans. I’m playing these CDs so much I’m surprised they haven’t broken yet. LOL!


Adios,

Bootsy

Feeling Good!

Hi All,

Bootsy's feeling good today! I went shopping! Yep I had a blast! I nearly bought out the entire store. I bought me some hot spring/summer clothes to enhance my wardrobe. Houston's weather is beautiful today. I feel rested. I feel content. I have let go of all negativity. I am anticipating a weekend of rest, relaxation and writing. Yep, still wrapping up that anthology.

Boy am I pooped. I don't know about men, but there is nothing like a good day of shopping that makes a woman feel good. You should see that tab, LOL! Oh I feel sooooooo good today! Another reason is because I lost more weight. Yep, I work on it and I'm doing good. I'm a vegetarian you know. I only eat chicken, fish and turkey. I mainly eat turkey. I feel lighter, healthier. Shoot I just feel GOOD! Ever have an extremely happy day? Well this is one for me. I am high on life, baby! I hope you all enjoy your weekend! If you can, do something this weekend that makes you feel good! Enjoy life while you got the chance.

Love you!

Bootsy

My Old Strange, Strange Relationship

Okay it’s two in the morning. I got out of bed just to write this. I wanted to blog about this because it all popped back into my head. Writers like to go with our guts and feelings immediately. Most of us don’t like to hold off on ideas so I wanted to write about this. It will not only clear things up for me, but it would be nice to see what others think of this.

Rewind to 2001. Here’s the story…

I met this guy. He was a white guy. Most of my men friends have been white. It just happened that way. I guess because we had some of the same interests. Also, I am a big supporter of interracial relationships. That’s just me. I don’t look at people’s color when it comes to dating or whatever. This guy has been out of my life for years but today of all days I found myself thinking about him.

You want to know how it all began? Well, he approached me. For those who may need a reminder, I am a model as well as author. Curvaceous thing I am, I modeled on the full-figure circuit. I modeled for sites mainly. I modeled lingerie, all types of things. Well, it was 2001 and I was depressed back then. A lot of things were going badly. My writing career wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I just felt lost. I delved into the only thing that made me like myself. That was my looks. So I started focusing on modeling just to uplift me. There is nothing like feeling attractive right? This is how I met “ Jay “. I won’t use his real name of course.

How we met? Jay wrote me a long letter about how attractive I was out of the blue. He told me he saw my modeling pictures and he wanted to get to know me. He basically said I was the woman of his dreams. And any woman will tell you that, that is the sweetest thing any woman can hear from a man. It doesn’t happen often to any of us so I was very flattered. He was very honest. He told me he thought I was very beautiful. He went onto explain how he loved black girls even though he never dated any. Since I am heavy into interracial relationships myself, I thought this was wonderful. He liked full ladies too, LOL. The first letter he went on and on about how good I looked from my head to my toes. I’m not a fool but I wrote him back. I was surprised I did at the time because I got mail from tons of men when I modeled. Some men even proposed to me by email. It’s pathetic and creepy isn’t it? I thought it was just because I modeled but I’ve attracted even more creeps as a writer. I wrote Jay back thanking him for the sweet things he said. That’s how it began.

We met and started hanging. We chatted on the Internet constantly. We had so much in common that it blew me away. I was in my early twenties so I wasn’t looking for someone to live a life with, but the more I hung with Jay, the better the idea became. Everything was okay for a while. You see I’m a very inquisitive woman. I noticed Jay was ‘ different ‘ from the beginning. He had a little ‘ weird ‘ streak in him. At least I thought it was a little one at the time. So I played along with the things he said. We would talk about sex. He would talk about things he liked to do, etc. I was just playing along. Maybe I was leading him on but I did it. If it was wrong then I was just wrong.
I didn’t have any problems with his weird behavior until I noticed it went beyond that. He would suggest things he’d want us to do later in the relationship. (We never slept with each other. I want that to be known.) He would just suggest things. We both felt we’d one day make this step. Of course, I figured it was just a game but the farther along we went, the stranger Jay grew. He was a writer too so he would write stories to me. He wrote erotic stories and yes, I liked that. I am not going to lie and say I didn’t. But it went way beyond that. We knew each other for probably a total of two or three years and I still can’t believe I stayed around that long. I wasn’t taking him seriously at first. It all seemed like a game. But it wasn’t. Jay had serious issues. He had a very weird sexual appetite. His desires went from strange, to morbid. He talked of porn sites he visited. He told me he wanted us to get married. He said he could see us married n the future. I of course could not. I was like, “ What? “

I know I led him on. I know that. Luckily I realized he was sick before I found myself in harm’s way. He completely went out of the box. He said that he wanted me to flash men for him. He said that would turn him on, for men to see what he had. He said he that would like me to have sex with other men so he could watch. Even if we got married. Of course I was disgusted. And I wasn’t going to marry him! Please! I’m not a fool! But somehow I kept thinking this just couldn’t be happening. This guy, I thought was so cool to be with cannot be this perverted. He was. Jay just couldn’t keep his mind out of the gutter. He got more and more perverted as time went on. It scared me because I kept thinking how could someone so young be like this already? Did his family know? He’d always suggest things then he’d say, “ Am I scaring you? “ or “ I don’t want to pressure you. “ He knew damn well when he went too far. I became frightened of Jay. I cut ties with him. Yep after all that time right?

I must have been stupid because I started missing him. He started emailing me. He asked me what had happened. Why I didn’t want to be with him anymore. He said that he would chill with how he behaved. That he was only playing. And like a sap, I believed him. We started up again. Of course, since my absence his desires had gotten worse. He’d gotten so obsessed with porn sites on the Internet that he’d lost so much weight because he was too busy doing that to eat. He’d dropped probably forty pounds since I last saw him. He couldn’t eat for being so obsessed with his desires. It wasn’t that he was obsessed with the “ sex “ itself, but with his strange desires. He kept going on about how he was going to buy a web cam. He went on about it for weeks. He said he wanted us to see each other when we chatted on the net. I’m no fool. I knew what he was gearing towards. And I was right.

He wanted the web cam so I could see him. He wanted me to get one so he could see me. I was so disgusted. He kept trying to masturbate in front of me. Now, I knew he was masturbating when we chatted before. I had a feeling. It had been obvious. Now he wanted me to watch him and I had, had it. I didn’t even say I never wanted to see him again. I just clicked off that night like always. It was like it was no big deal. That was in 2003. I never spoke to or heard from Jay again.

I know he was upset. I know he wondered what happened. I guess he figured I took all I could take. How can you seriously have a relationship with someone who is this warped? I cared about him a lot. But he needed serious help. So today I was thinking about him. I don’t want to see him or anything. It’s just that he popped into my head. I wonder how things would have ended up if I kept giving him chance after chance. The relationship was draining at best. And I know I brought some of it on myself. I know that. I guess I fell in love a little bit there. Or else I enjoyed the attention.

Now it’s over. Love is a funny thing is it? But then again, how can I be sure that’s what this was anyway? Should I feel guilty for not telling Jay I didn’t want him? Was it wrong that I just left like that? I often wonder. He scared me so much at that point I couldn’t bear to talk to him.

Sometimes I feel guilty. I think I should have handled it better. Funny that this is the first time in years I’ve thought of him. I am just glad it’s all over. This relationship is part of the reason I don’t worry about dating. I guess Jay’s strange behavior ruined it for me. Well, I just wanted to share. What do you think of this weird situation? Maybe I was dumb for sharing it but I wanted to.

Stacy

Brangelina: What’s Your Verdict?

Hmmm, the picture of the perfect couple...or not?

Okay Bootsy buddies. I got something new for you.

I want your opinions. Whether you’re a man or woman. Short or tall. Thin or thick. Black or white. Married or single. Vegetarian or meat lover. Gay or straight. Movie fan or not. What do YOU think?

The Dish:

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock lately you should know that Angelina Jolie has been named the new tramp of 2006. People have called her everything from whore to home wrecker. Despite the fact that Angelina and Brad insist they didn’t start a romantic relationship until after he and Jennifer Anniston split, America doesn’t seem to be buying it. So here is my question to you:

DO YOU THINK ANGELINA JOLIE IS A HOMEWRECKER?

I think Brad Pitt is the biggest dog in the world. I don’t watch Angelina’s films but I always liked her. I am disappointed in her choices. I admire her for her work with charities. She seems to be a very nice person. It’s her life but I thought the woman was smarter than to be with Brad Pitt. Are you all falling for Brad’s “ act “? Some folks seem to think he’s changed. I think the charity act he’s pulling was so he can get into Angelina’s pants. Of course people do change for the better at times but honey I don’t buy this “ new and improved “ Brad Pitt. Underneath his new wanna-be-Angelina’s-baby-daddy routine, I still see the dog clear as day. That’s my two cents on Bradley.

Back to the question at hand. What do you think? I am sure you probably don’t care but I still want to know your opinions. Do you think Angelina broke up Jennifer and Brad? What do you believe?

I just keep wondering why the media is making this out to be Angelina’s fault. Even if she were a home wrecker (not saying she is but...) Brad wouldn’t be innocent would he? How come blame hasn’t been laid at his feet? He struts around like King Casanova while Angelina takes all the blame. If they were hitting the sheets when Brad was with Jennifer then they are both to blame. I’d blame Brad more because he was married to Jennifer. Angelina wasn’t. We can’t just blame the outsider without blaming the person who stepped out on the marriage.

I don’t know what’s going on. I hope that Angelina has more respect than to have been with Brad while he was married. You’d think that after being with a dog like Billy Bob Thornton she’d have more sense. What the heck does Brad Pitt have? He isn’t even half as good looking as he used to be. Nope I’m not buying it, Brad. I am waiting for him to dump Angelina. I know he will. I don’t believe they will get married. Nope, sure don’t. This reminds me of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. A relationship full of hype. I’m not buying the love. Especially on Bradley’s part. Of course people can change but it's going to take more than Brad cooing in the papers with Angelina's kids to convince me. I keep wondering if he's going to get bored with Angie once he stars in a movie with someone else.

Still, if you care to comment and I hope you do…what do you guys think? Is Angelina a home wrecker? Sure, I know you could probably care less. But it’s an interesting topic wouldn’t you say?

Bootsy