A New Kind of Jealousy

Hi All,

I made some time to post. I hope everyone is doing well. I have to get something off my chest. Before I do this, don’t think I am upset or giving it a second thought. I just wanted to share this and get your opinions.

I notice a new kind of jealousy and hate brewing these days. It used to be that we only had to deal with people we didn’t know or people who didn’t like us being jealousy. That’s only the tip of the iceberg. I have noticed that the people who you felt supported you the most turn out to be the ones who can’t be proud of your success. They succumb to jealousy. I’m not speaking of specifically close friends, but of people I have rubbed elbows with. A lot of my peers in the literary world support my new venture as an interviewer. A lot have given me warm wishes and stopped by to show how proud they are. I am the same with them. You see I love to support others and I am the first to congratulate people when they do something big. But I don’t always get that in return. And I am not the only one in the world to receive this treatment.

Let me make something clear. I don’t give a damn about anyone who is petty and jealous. But I think it’s pathetic when someone can only be your friend until you do something that shows up his or her insecurities. How do we realize such treatment? Well, it’s easy. You used to be close to a person, now they don’t answer your emails. They once were all up on you now they don’t speak. You know you didn’t do anything wrong but there is a coldness there you can feel. I’m not stupid. I can tell when someone’s behavior has changed towards me. Some people are only your friends when you are at the same level as they are. But when they see you rising and doing more than them they just can’t hack it. At first it bothered me. Now I don’t care. My true friends and intelligent literary peers aren’t like this. The literary world is full of great, supportive folks. But it is also full of jealousy and you can’t see it until you are doing something remarkable. When someone is jealous of you is when you know you’re doing a damn good job.

I just can’t understand it though. Why can’t people be proud of others? It is so obvious. Until people let go of jealousy they won’t have any kind of life. People need to stop looking at others and do what they can do. I don’t care about jealous people. I know that a lot of people are jealous of me. People are jealous of anyone for different reasons. You can be an author, singer or cook. It doesn’t matter. There is always someone who is looking at you, wanting to be you and hating you at the same time. Well, people can be jealous all they want. Friends who I felt were friends can ignore me all they want. They can stick up their noses and do all the other childish things but I don’t care. See I don’t need them. They don’t stop my flow. They won’t stop my flow. You know whom I care about? I care about the people I inspire. And for everyone who is jealousy of me, I know there is at least ten others who are proud of me. I am speaking of someone in particular. Someone I thought was a friend. Someone I thought I had something in common with. Someone I thought was big enough not to ever be jealous and petty. Well, it’s their problem isn’t it? It’s one thing when the people you thought were in your corner really weren’t to begin with.

I know you guys have felt this too. I feel good because I know that I haven’t changed. I am still the sweet, loveable girl I always have been. I don’t hate on others. I don’t wish others’ failure. But I couldn’t ignore how it bothered me at first to see that some of the folks I thought would support this exciting new career ride I was taking have decided to give me the cold shoulder. Well that’s their problem and not mine. If they don’t need me then I damn sure don’t need them. Every year I learn more about being an adult. I learn more. I will keep learning. With every revelation I make about how trifling some folks can be, it opens my eyes. They can’t hurt me. But obviously I can hurt them just by being me.

Can anything be more pathetic?

Bootsy