Just A Little Harmless Reminiscing About Young Love

As some of you already know, June 2006 marks my tenth year out of high school. I am proud to have accomplished so much to still be so young. But of course, I have so much more I want to do towards my career and life. As long as I’m positive I know it will happen. Anyway…I guess since this marks the tenth year of me out of school, this would explain all the reminiscing I’ve been doing lately.

Usually I think of my friends from high school. Today I thought of someone else. My first boyfriend (if you can call him that). Anyway his name was…wait I won’t tell you his name. Oh wait, well he was a jerk so why should he be spared? His name was RAY!

Note to Ray:
So Ray if you’re reading this eat your heart out. It should be easy to remember me. I wasn’t only your girlfriend but one of the tallest people in the school, LOL!

He was the first guy I admitted to my friends I liked. I usually keep that to myself. I should have this time because one of my friends decided to hook us up without my permission. She went behind my back and gave Ray a forged note that she wrote, telling him I liked him. I was two seconds from wringing her neck, and even though it wasn’t her place to tell, was glad she did. As shy as I am I wouldn’t have ever uttered a word. Ray was one of the cutest guys I’d ever seen. He may not have been that great looking to other girls but he wasn’t ugly or anything. He was a medium-height guy with a little meat on his bones. He wasn’t fat. He was on the football team. I don’t know why I liked him. I just did. I was so engrossed with Ray that I got one of the boys on the football team to steal his football picture for me. You know how the cheerleaders and football team takes pictures before the games? Well I talked one of the guys into getting Ray’s little wallet picture of him in his football uniform. Ooooh! I can’t tell you how happy I was to have that picture. I had it before he even knew I liked him. Yes, I liked him from a far for a while. So I put the little picture in a tiny frame on my dresser. Well…little did I know that the football team gossiped like nobody’s business. The guy I got the picture from told Ray! So Ray walked up to me the next day all cocky.

“ Hey girl, why you got my picture? “ He asked, chewing gum (in school).

“ I don’t have your picture. “ I said in between giggles.

“ Uh-huh. Someone said you got my picture. “

“ I don’t know what you mean. “

Finally he walked off. Now this was a few days before my friend told him I liked him. When he found out he strolled up to me all cocky again.

“ So I heard you liked me? “ I remember his smirk so famously.

“ What? Who told you that? “

He mentioned my friend. He continued. “ Well, I would go out with you but I don’t date tall girls. “

“ And why not? “

“ Because I want my woman to look up to me. I don’t want to look up to my woman. “

“ Oh well bye. “ Course I strolled off about my business. That night I get a phone call from Ray. Can you believe it? The one who didn’t like tall girls? Uh-huh…it’s funny how a guy’s ego slumps when you leave him in the hallway like a fool. He just started talking. He told me he got my number from the same friend that told him I liked him. He didn’t even mention anything about height. We just talked while watching videos. His little sister was giggling on the phone, asking if I was his girlfriend. He asked me if I wanted him to walk me to class the next day. Of course I did!

So it seemed the start of something very sweet. He was so attentive. He walked me to class everyday. We sneaked from the other kids at lunchtime and hung out alone. It was nice to talk to someone, just talk you know? I really liked him. He would walk by my classes sometimes and make silly faces. He almost got me in trouble when he did it during a math test. I started giggling out loud in class. Ah, young love. He called me every night and we’d talk about anything. It was good to be Ray’s girl…for about a month. Uh-huh. Knew I was about to spring the reality on you huh?

I don’t know what the heck his problem was but Ray changed. One day he didn’t walk me to class. I didn’t make a deal out of it. Soon two more days passed and no Ray. He would wave at me from down the hall. So I called him one night and asked him what was going on. He said. “ Oh you know how sometimes you just need a little space? “
Space? Space from what…talking? So I was through with him then. He could have all the space he wanted. He asked if I was mad. I said no. So, another month passed. I was going to class one day. Ray was standing with his friends. He called to me.

“ So Stacy, you just don’t even speak to a brotha no more? “ I just rolled my eyes and went into the room. I was the first one in the room so I was alone. Ray came in.
“ So what’s up? “ He asked, popping that gum.

“ What’s up with you? You’re the one who said you needed space. “

He tilted his head all cocky. “ Yeah okay. Well I didn’t mean I didn’t want us to still hang. “

I told him that I wasn’t in the mood for games. I also said that if he didn’t know how to treat me as his girlfriend I didn’t need to be around him. He only wanted me when he wanted me and I wasn’t going for that disrespect. If he was my man he would be my man all the time right? Well, of course I told him all of this. He nodded and walked out the room. I never spoke to Ray again. We would see each other but I wouldn’t acknowledge him. Sometimes, I would see him looking at me. But it didn’t matter. The feelings I had for him had been shattered when I realized he was selfish and just wanted things his way. I ended up tearing his picture up and throwing it away. I didn’t want to even see his face. I sometimes regret that. I kind of remember what he looks like. It’s funny. This is the first time in years that I’ve thought about ol’ Ray. I wonder what he’s doing. Wonder if he knows I’m a writer? Wonder if he’s telling everyone he knew me. Wondering if he thinks about me too? I don’t know why I wonder. I don’t want him. I guess it’s just curiosity. I know he would like how I look now. I often wonder how he looks, if he’s changed. He’s probably fat as a pig now, LOL! It would be funny. I lost weight and he probably gained. Seriously, sometimes you just wonder. I know Ray will be a part of my life because he was my first boyfriend. I can’t change that. Sometimes you can’t change the past even if you think it shouldn’t have happened.

So that’s my young love story. Ray and Stacy. We were no Romeo & Juliet but back then at that point in time, what we had was enough for me.

Have a good weekend,

Bootsy!