Stacy’s Dating Tips: Ditch The Books!

Hi All,

Did you miss me? I missed you too. Let me send cyber kisses to all the folks that missed me. Now, let’s get down to business. I want to talk about dating. Why? I don’t know. I was sitting in my room watching a silly teen movie. (License to Drive) since you asked.
Ah, I was a little pup back then. 1988, I was only in Elementary school but to me it was a great year. For anyone who has seen the “ Coreys “ famous film, you know it’s basically a dating movie. At least it was a big one back then. So it sparked this topic.

I wanted to give some straight up advice. Okay, don’t get on me. I know you guys are saying, who is she to give dating advice? She’s not even married. HELLO! I don’t want to be married. I’m happy being single thank you, LOL. Believe me it is by choice. Anyway, my tips are simple. I think there shouldn’t be any rules when dating is concerned. Our rules should be left up to us individually. We’re different people right? Everyone has different needs and wants in a relationship. So why do millions of single women and men feel they need to buy books that claim to help you “ find the right man or woman “? I mean, come on. Aren’t most of those books pretty lame? I don’t know about you but I don’t need some stuffy Ph.D. (who isn’t anything attractive mind you), telling me what I need to do in terms of dating. And a lot of those relationship doctors are single themselves. Go figure.

So don’t listen to them. Listen to me. Come on, it’s your girl, Bootsy. Have I ever stirred you wrong? Do you love me? Do you trust me? Course you do. It’s the Voice baby.

Go with what’s comfortable for you. It’s a new age. Women need to start taking control and asking men out on dates. A lot of women believe the myth that men don’t like forward women. A lot of them do. If a man likes you, he will be happy you asked him out because it will let him off the hook. Ladies, men have it hard. They can’t resist us so they spend their lives coming up with successful ways to win us over. But if you’re a grown woman, confident in yourself, why can’t you ask him out? Now me, it’s no qualms for me to ask a man out. I’d do it in a heartbeat. Especially if I know he’s sweating bullets “ working “ up to asking me. That’s right. Men have to “ work “ up to asking women out. I believe there is nothing wrong with a woman taking the first step. You wait on him and you might be in the senior citizen home before you get an invitation. LOL!

Another thing with dating is that people assume a date has to be “ old fashioned “. People, the dinner and movie thing is through. That was over in the early nineties. You gotta get with it. Make your date so fun your company will want to marry you when it’s over. Do something hysterical! Something wild! I don’t want a boring dinner, movie and dancing date. No, shoot let’s go see a porn flick at an adult theater. That would be fun, LOL! Go roller-skating (Even if you can’t skate that’s most of the fun! Falling over each other and laughing like hens is a blast!) Plus, he has an excuse to touch you. And women love to play hard to get don’t we? Go to a comedy club. I love to laugh. I have a great sense of humor. Things like this break the ice. Go to the zoo! Go shopping. Shoot, help each other put up an entertainment system. Heck, if the other is moving, help them move for the day! As long as you’re together, it’s a date! When you have a normal setting you will naturally become comfortable. If you are comfortable, go to the gym together. Yeah get sweaty. Talk about breaking the ice. You’ll feel good knowing you’re not the only one who needs to knock off the pounds. Go driving. Go on a trolley or train ride. Go to a basketball or baseball game. Do something fun! Throw those boring old date ideas out the window! And if you want to include some music, crash a party. That’s right. Folks do it all the time. Just go to some private hotel function and stroll on in like you belong there. Do something daring (not illegal). This makes all the difference.

You gotta make your own decisions when it comes to dating. Maybe some people still like it old-fashioned but I don’t want to feel like I’m with my dad when I go out with a guy. See what I mean? We should be courteous and polite but ditch the stuffiness. It’s no fun when someone is putting on airs. A date should be relaxing. Don’t act like you’re at a business meeting. And dress for the date. If you’re going to a nightly picnic in the park (ooh these are fun and romantic!). Just be careful because some parks are dangerous after dark. I suggest staying in the car these days. There are some sick folks out there. But if you’re going on a picnic or somewhere relaxing, wear the right clothes. Don’t overdress. And if you’re going to the theater, leave the jeans at home, fellows. You can’t mess up on a date as long as you’re prepared. That’s the key.

Be confident. Don’t sit down and start talking about the “ plight of Iraq “ if you really don’t know a damn thing about it. Don’t talk about current affairs if America is at war. Don’t talk about Hurricane Katrina! Who wants to talk about tragedy during a date? Don’t talk about things you THINK the other wants to hear. Be yourself. Just because Brad and Angelina went to the Grammy’s doesn’t mean your date wants to talk about it. Understand? And would you? Talk about YOURSELF. This is the time the person needs to get to know YOU. Keep the conversation light, and fun. And don’t talk too much. Leave room for your date to break in. If she or he has to keep saying, “ Well uh…uh…yeah…I mean…” then you are talking way too much. Motor mouths are not appreciated. And I know it’s a sign of nervousness. You’re gonna be nervous on a first date with someone. Relax, breathe and be yourself. Talk about movies and music. Everyone in the world can relate to that. Talk about things you like to buy and places you’ve traveled to. Men, women are impressed with travelers. I can’t tell you how hearing of a man traveling to India would knock my socks off. Do not talk about your ex! It’s too soon to start whining about your ex on the first date with someone new. They don’t want to hear your sour grapes believe me. I knew of a date where a woman said the man started crying at the table about his ex. Pathetic. It showed the fool wasn’t anywhere near ready for a new relationship. Also, turn that damn cell phone off!

And men, when women go out on dates, we want it to lead to more. That’s not a myth. Most women over twenty-five are looking for a real relationship. So don’t blow it. I think a lot of men are still playing the field at this age but just know that when you take a woman out, she’s prepping you to see if you fit in with her and her life, LOL! Women over twenty-three don’t go out on dates for no reason most times. If we decided to date you, it’s because we either hope you’ll be someone to marry one day or that we want a serious lover. That’s it plain and simple. So fellows you have to be extra smooth.

I just broke it down for you. The kind of man I like you ask? I’ve spelled it out before. And please, don’t dare put yourself down because you think you don’t “ look “ good. Everyone is beautiful. I’d date a confident man who wasn’t very attractive on the outside faster than I would date an arrogant man who looked like a model. See the point? And the way you dress can help you a lot. You may not be The Rock, but if you do things to compliment you, that’s what counts. Dating is natural because we are natural. Relationships can’t be held to a mode. So ditch those dating books and go with YOUR gut. Be yourself! And your date will not only have you coming home full of fun, if you played your cards right, you may not be coming home alone.

Ha, ha!

Bootsy