That Vibe of Time That Stands Within Me

Lately I've been thinking about my childhood, the things I did, the things I enjoyed, the things that went together to form the woman I am today. Before I claimed my middle name for anything. Back when I was just plain ol' Bootsy to everyone who knew me. One of the most important details about me is my love for music. I am an obsessive lover of music to the point that I've used it to identify me completely. Music has been my friend for my so-far lifetime and it will be my friend forever. So I'm feeling like the traitor I am because lately, and I mean the last few years since growing into full-fledge womanhood and beyond, I'd abandoned one particular artist who has always meant the world to me. Cyndi Lauper.

I grew up on Cyndi, being a former child punker. I jumped around when I saw her on television even though I probably wasn't more than six when she first came out in 1983. I used to know everything there was to know about her but have forgotten as time rolled on. I hadn't realized how much power those artists I sincerly love had over me until I played Cyndi today and she put me " back in my place ".

I slipped in the CD, She's So Unusual Lauper's debut and for most punk fans, her best. My emotions ran sky high. When " Girls Just Wanna Have Fun " played I sung along, remembering when just the sound of Cyndi's voice used to send me in sweet, pleasureable convulsions even when I was too young to understand what she was saying. Listening to that put me back to the days when I jumped on the bed when that video played. I worshipped Cyndi's multi-colored hair and beaded, tramp-hung bracelets. I thought she was the cat's meow, " Queen of White Girl-Punk Soul " while most people around me found her just plain, strange. And yes she was but none of that mattered to me. I can't express how listening to something I hadn't heard in years opened me inside.

I had began to forget who I really was. I keep seeing myself as this " author ". I was telling my mother today that I actually saw my full, birth name on something, not my pen name and had to actually remember it was me. That's how out of touch I have been feeling with myself. Outside of the books I feel like I have no life sometimes because for the last nine years the books have been my life. I put everything into my writing and I needed one thing, just one thing to bring me back to who I used to be. And that was Cyndi.

Then the CD slipped into one of my all-time favorite sex anthems in the world, " She Bop ". Now I feel silly since I know what the song represents. I used to sing it freely as a child not knowing what the hell I was actually saying. All I knew was that it was one of my favorite songs and whenever Cyndi bopped, I made it a vow to bop along with her. Then " Time After Time " played and I just lost it. I actually thought I would cry hearing this ballad. This song has meant so much to me. I used to lie on my mom's lap as a little girl and we'd watch that video on MTV. Back then MTV played only videos and most times the hottest ones a million times a day.

I remember every scene of that video though I haven't seen it in years. If hearing these songs could fulfill the void I didn't even realize I had, I can't imagine how seeing some of those old videos would effect me. You know I don't think I could bear it. Then I put in another Lauper CD and listened to " Goonies " R " Good Enough ". Some people make fun of this song, calling it one of Lauper's cheesiest, but I loved it. I fell in love with it back in 1985 when I sat my little tail cheeks down in that movie theater to see the film, The Goonies. Back then I thought Corey Feldman was the hottest thing since vanilla ice cream and hadn't paid Josh Brolin an ounce of attention. My how things change huh?

They could have had a little black or Hispanic boy in the film. Okay I guess we had to settle for the Asian boy but still...
Hell they could have had a little girl in there too! What girls can't be goonies too? Anyway...

The fact is that I hadn't really forgotten who I was outside of being an author. I just needed someone to bring me back to who I was. Someone who could make me appreciate what I'd gone through and what I've done to get down this recent road. When I hear Cyndi's voice I go into overdrive with excitement. I can't tell you how every word of her songs pushes me back into a life I thought I'd never find again. Because of that Cyndi will always be bopping along. And as long as " she " bops, you can best be sure that Stacy or Bootsy will proudly join her hand in hand, motion in motion, song in song, celebration and celebration...and " bop " along with her. Yeah, you can always be sure of that.

Images are from Cyndi's She's So Unusual album, scanned by Stacy-Deanne