I'm So Unusual

Okay I guess I am in a revealing mood. It's funny that I can say things on my blog that I have trouble saying to people around me. How can you feel more comfortable talking to strangers than you do to the people you care about? Don't ask me but I just do. It's Monday morning and I'm getting ready to write on my novel again. The story is going well, beautifully actually and I'm having a ball. Of course writing is a part of me and like I said for years, the only thing that really makes me happy.

If writing were a man he would be perfect for me. Unfortunately writing is just an art and not a human but still…I can dream can't I? I am prepared to let you inside my mind for a second. People say I'm a head of my time. They say it because of the way I think and speak. See, you have to meet me personally or read my books to see this. They all say the same thing. It's the way I express myself. I was born with an overactive imagination. Most people stop living with " make believe " before their preteens. I never did. My entire existence depends on the power of my imagination and creativity. It's all I'll ever need and I like it much better than real life. With my books, I can live through my characters. They can do things I always wanted to do but was too afraid to try. They can even do things that I know are bad but that the devil inside of me is still curious about. So yes I live through my characters. You can take that as fascinating or pathetic. It's all in how you look at things.

My world revolves around my stories. There are many reasons for this. I know that I am different from other people. I think differently. This is the reason that I don't do the " normal " things others do. Because that stuff doesn't hold my interest and doesn’t fit into my world or the kind of person I am. I have always been on a higher plane. My publisher says it's a gift. My mother says its genius. Family sits in awe. They didn't understand me at all. Now they do. They say, " Stacy's just different. That's just the way she is. " There is nothing wrong with being different. I cling onto anything that makes me special. How different am I? Well let's look…
I'm solitary. That's right. I don't like a lot of people around me at all. In fact, I hardly go out. Writing excites me so and I know that nothing in the ' real ' world could make me feel as good so why worry about it? I do what I need to do but I don't communicate and I don't dabble with ' people ' on a regular basis. I have people closest to me and that's it for now. I've never been in love with anyone outside a movie screen. I'm 27 and I can say that. Yes I've NEVER been in love with a person in real life. Just another example of how ' outside the box ' I think. I always thought years a head of the people in my same age group. That's why in high school, (well I had one boyfriend back then but that wasn't much of anything) the people just didn't get me and I didn't get the people.

My intelligence and creativity impressed the teachers. My friends admired it. Other kids probably thought of me as strange. I may be strange but who said strange was a bad thing? Unlike most people my stimulation comes from my mind. I don't need drinks and drugs to show me a good time. That's just my life. And I'm comfortable with that.
I am beginning to think there is no one in this world other than my mom and my best friend (my support system) that I will ever fall in love with. Right now I am content with everything I am doing. I like my life. I bet it's more interesting than people who go out on the town every weekend. I am fortunate because I am interesting enough to invent and have my own fun without relying on unnecessary additions. Am I regretful that I've never been in love? No. Sometimes I think about what it may be like when I'm writing it in a story. I dream of a storybook romance. Maybe they come true and maybe they don't. I believe that falling in love and dating isn't in the cards for me. Mom says it is and that it will come when I least expect it. But now I'm wondering, do I want it to? Maybe I'm just still too far ahead of everything that this just doesn't interest me. He needs to be on my level mentally. He has to have that spark. He has to drive on creativity. Other than a few male authors, I've never seen that in a man.

If I never fall in love and only have my writing I would be the happiest person on earth. If I do fall in love, it needs to be with someone who knows I don't conform to normality. But I don't care about falling in love. It seems more trouble than it is worth. I'm also convinced I couldn't be happier in love than I am now. I'm in love with writing. I'm living my life. So far the things I got satisfy me. And what you've never tasted, you don't miss. If Madonna were a man I'd be head over heels in love with her or (him) rather. Other than that falling in love isn't a concern. And right now I wouldn't have it any other way. I am thankful for the support of fans and family. And that's all I need. But falling in love? Maybe I will and maybe I never will. But I tell you one thing I'm not sitting here waiting… And I am glad I am unusual because normal is something I've never wanted to be.

Have a nice Monday! Adios!

Stacy