Suddenly Drawn to Slasher Flicks & Loving It

Lately for some reason I've become attached to slasher flicks. You know those films where all the bad acting, big-breasted blondes and buffed college male cuties get hacked, hammered or sawed by some mask-wearing tyrant? I used to just make fun of these movies. Of course being a child of the eighties I've seen all the Friday the 13th films more times than I can count. But lately I have been watching the new brand of slasher films and even though they're predictable and pitiful to boot, I find myself wanting to watch them. I finally think I know why.

I am sick and tired of Hollywood throwing out these lame movies. The film industry hasn't been decent since the late 90's and at this rate going to the movies will be obsolete and all the films will debut on DVD. Check the box office tallies you guys. Now a day a film doesn't even stay in the theater two months. No one's paying such a high admission price for crap and I can't blame them. I think I suddenly watch the slasher films now because I don't have to think when I watch them. I don't have to worry about being disappointed because I already know what to expect. I know the acting is going to be laughable. I know the dialogue will suck like a straw. I know the actors will be no-names that work nights at Kmart, and I know that masked killer isn't going to do anything but stomp and grunt for two hours.

I also know that two so-called teens (that are actually forty in real life) will be killed while having sex in a trailer. I know the first victim will probably be the funny-looking black dude who the movie only included as a punch line. The fat dude who plays all the jokes on everyone will be hanged in a closest. The redhead will be groped and hacked with a machete. The blonde's boyfriend, Greg (who's really thirty passing for eighteen) will be stupid enough to try and fight the killer only to end up lying in the middle of the floor, gripping his bleeding head. And the end…ah the end will leave us watching that screeching collegian-lipped blonde with the forty triple D bust battle the Jason wannabe all by herself, if she can stop screaming and falling down in the woods long enough. Ha…

But naming all the faults of slasher films doesn't make sense right? Because no matter how pathetic they are most of us will watch them. They're still interesting and sadly, better than a lot of movies being put out today. As for the acting, come on horror flicks are like adult films. Does anyone really watch these things for the acting? I don't think so. Horror flicks and porn have a lot in common. You're bound to see at least one buck-naked lady with implants struggling to act in both of them. It's funny how your interests can change with the things you used to like compared to things you never thought about. But these days I like these cheesy horror flicks more and more.

In fact I'm going to get me some horror DVD's today. After all, it's Friday.

By the way just saw this movie on DVD a couple of weeks ago called Shredder about this killer terrorizing people at a ski resort. It was supposed to be a horror so I can't figure out why I laughed and cried during the entire thing. Oh yeah, now I remember. I laughed because of the acting and I cried because I'd spent seven dollars on the damn DVD in the first place.
What a life huh? Thank goodness for the Scary Movie films or the real horror flicks wouldn't stand a chance of being taken seriously.

The photo is of Drew Barrymore in that famous scene from the movie Scream. I guess they thought it would be something different to have Drew do a cameo and be killed in the beginning. In my opinion they should have killed off Neve Campbell and kept Drew. And how many films has this chick made anyway? Seems like every time I turn around Drew Barrymore is in my face. Oh, the horror!